It is common for this time of year to reflect on the past year and then to make new goals and resolutions. I love doing this, although it can be difficult to reflect on the parts of the year that weren’t so easy causing me to grow. It is also very inspiring to see the growth and lessons learned. Dreaming and planning for the new year also instills hope and excitement. A new year, new chapters to write. Let’s reflect and take inventory of some toxic habits we need to look at and how to shed light on them in order to change them so that we can live our best life in the new year!
- Negative Self-Talk – The first habit I see many, or most of us, do is negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is one toxic habit that keeps us playing small in life, hold us down, prevents us from living our best life and shining brightly. Many people don’t even realize they are doing it at times because this thought pattern and language have become automatic. “I look fat,” “I’m not good at that,” “I am not capable,” “I need to be more like her or look like that.” Do you realize that the person you have the most conversations with is yourself, so why not talk to yourself in a more uplifting and honoring way? For the next two weeks, I want you to notice and pay special attention to your language and the specific words you use towards yourself. What are you saying about yourself and to yourself? What stories are you feeding yourself and keeping alive? What limiting beliefs do you find popping up again and again? How are your language and this pattern not serving your highest good or honoring yourself? Then you can start replacing your negative words and statements with positive, empowering, and affirming words. The more you practice this and retrain your brain, the new positive thoughts and words will become automatic.
- Judgment – We don’t realize how much we judge ourselves and others and how toxic it can be. We don’t realize how judgment blocks us and keeps us separated. Judgment blocks our alignment from others and a higher power, our intuition, our creativity, our power, attracting what we want into our lives, as well as blocks us from feeling amazing. If we are all connected, then we must realize when and how judgments keep us separated and keeps everyone from elevating. I had a boss once who openly made judgmentally, hurtful comments, and not in a “speaking her truth” from her higher-self kind of way, but in a way to put others down to uphold bogus control and power. These types of judgments are obvious, but have you stopped to notice more subtle judgments you have towards yourself and others. Our brain is constantly filtering info. into categories, making “judgments” about what is being processed. However, you get to decide how you want to think and feel about yourself and others, and what level you want to vibrate. Judgment is a low-level vibe with negativity. It is not that we will no longer make judgments it is a shift in our perceptions, and how we react. Let’s be real there is a difference between discernment and toxic judgment. Gabby Bernstein, the author of Judgement Detox, asserts that you should first witness your judgment without judgment. She states the first step is giving yourself full permission to look at your behavior and love yourself anyway; be aware then ask yourself the four questions. Who or what am I judging? How does it make me feel? Why am I justified in my judgment? Is there an experience form my past that has caused me to believe in this judgment?
- Resistance and Avoidance – This area of toxic habit is keeping you stuck! Sometimes it is more painful or more work to look at ourselves and take responsibility for our lives and how we have been showing up. Where are the biggest gaps in your life between who you aspire to be and what you aspire to be doing, with what is showing up in your life? Most of the time the biggest gaps are the areas within us that we have shut down, disconnected from, or avoid because somewhere in time we decided that it is easier to not deal with it and we focus on things we think we can control. What we don’t realize is by not addressing these areas, by not taking responsibility, and avoiding we keep ourselves stuck! If we could dive deeper and commit to looking at those gaps, and healing and resolving them it has the tremendous power in getting traction on the areas you want to create in and manifest, and then set off a chain reaction to set off other areas of potential. Try connecting with yourself and your heart space- Dive deep within yourself and ask yourself what are your deep desires? What is your soul yearning for? What have you been avoiding or too resistant to look at?
- Not Making Feeling Good a Priority – How can you be useful to anyone, including yourself, your children, your partner, your clients, if you are drained and always running on empty? We consciously know this but many of us end up focusing our attention and energy on everyone and everything else leaving us depleted. Many times, we feel guilty or we wait on someone else to do something nice for us, like take a task off our plate, treat us to a nice meal or buy us flowers. What it comes down to is believing you are worthy and deserving of time and care for yourself. Time to replenish, rejuvenate, realign and relax. It is not selfish it is self-caring. I want you to say out loud, “I deserve to feel good! I deserve to take care of myself without guilt!” Now that you have reclaimed and affirmed your worthiness lets discuss how. We have many choices in a day, so make it a conscious choice daily to feel good. Take a look at where your energy is going and where it can be replaced with choices that make you feel good. When you catch yourself choosing to put your energy into something that doesn’t feel good like overcommitting or overcompensating for others, or making judgments like discussed above, stop and make a choice that aligns with feeling good. You can even stop and say to yourself “Nope! I choose to make feeling good a priority.” Commit to making it your priority to feel good and take care of yourself. Write a list of things and activities that fill your cup up (you, your soul). Next, decide on a plan and schedule in time to commit to doing these things. Go buy those flowers today. Treat yourself to that long, luxurious bubble bath with candles and cucumbers on your eyes. Go check out that exhibit that has been on your bucket list. Read that book that you have not made time for. You can even write down “I choose to make feeling good my priority” on a post-it and place it where you can see it all day every day. It also works as a powerful mantra.
There is not anyone on this earth that doesn’t have at least one toxic habit whether they admit it or not. Please share your answers to our questions below so this bliss tribe, you now belong to, can grow together and lift each other up. Just remember your share and insights might be what someone else needs to hear and read and it might just be the breakthrough they needed. Please note: share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be removed.
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What is one toxic habit you have and what you are doing to change it. Also, add what will it cost you to not change it?
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Now let’s get out there and make this new year A-MAZ-ING!